Misery Is Something You Should Learn to Let Go Of

Along with anger and sadness.

Now before I start this, I want to say: Yes you are entitled to your emotions and you damn sure entitled to feel however you want to feel.

But I will say this do not hold on to the things that make you angry and sad. Do not hold on to your misery–it's exhausting.

This end of the year has been a little mentally draining to say the least and I allowed myself to keep dwelling on it. I never gave myself the chance to acknowledge it, deal with it and let it go.

I can never understand how individuals harbor on all those negative feelings. How are you not tired all the time? Why do you want to be tired all the time? Why don't you want to see the positives that you no doubt have?

Let me tell you when I let go of all the stress and negativity that was weighing me down, the weight that was lifted off my shoulders was such a relief. It felt good to just breath again. But it truly made me question why do people want to be miserable? Isn't easier just to focus on the positive and be happy?

Probably not right? If it was we wouldn't have so many angry people running around lol.

But on a serious note:

Holding on to all your angry and sadness and misery longer than necessary will only put you in a grave earlier and make everything else in your life suck. Learn to let go of the things that make you miserable. Focus on those things that make you happy (unless it's killing people.....that's frowned upon).

There's just too much going on in the world not to be grateful and to not focus on the positive things going on in life.

You should learn to be happy with life. Not only will you feel better, but positive energy attracts positive energy. You get what you give.

Your Significant Other Doesn't Just Date You.

They date your family too!

I say Meh!

I've been with my boyfriend for about, it's going on three years. We have a pretty dope relationship and I love how while we're committed to each other, we are completely independent as well.

Just an FYI this post is by no means bashing anything but strictly my opinion on the matter.

Moving on:

I get asked a lot why I don't bring him around places and do everything with him and being that it's the holiday time why we aren't spending it together? Or why he hasn't meet my mom yet.

Little back story on me: I never really had boyfriends. I dated causally and there was a semi serious non title thing for a while. But as far as boyfriends went? I preferred to be single. That was just where I was in life. I enjoyed my own company way too much to have someone else interfere with it. (and when I first got with him, lol let me tell you the adjustment period that there was. Lmao)

So first question: Why I don't bring him places and do everything with him? Simple. I don't need to and somethings I prefer to do by myself. I'm also not one of those people that make other people do stuff they don't want to do. If you're going to be around I genuinely want you there. I don't want you to be there because you feel obligated because we're fucking or in a relationship.

Example: There was a wedding I attended. This person was a really good friend of mine and I wanted my boyfriend there. When I asked, he said yes because he saw how important this person was to me. There was another wedding I attended. I didn't bother to ask him to come because I didn't want to drag him along with me. I was perfectly content to enjoy my time with friends I haven't seen in forever without him.

Second question: Holiday time why aren't we spending it together? Again simple answer. He has his own family that he should be spending time with. My time with my mom and my sister and my friends are precious. Now don't get me wrong I'm not completely selfish with my time with them. We can all hang out. LOL. But there's certain days and certain things that should belong to the person I'm hanging out with. We live in a society where everything is fast paced and instant social media friendly (I'm guilty of the social media trend as well). LOL but when I'm out with my girls or my boys or my family that's what I want it to be about.

Third question: Why hans't he met my mom? Honestly? LOL my mom don't like anybody lmao. She'll kill you with kindness and make you feel two feet tall without even trying. Lmao trust I'm doing him a favor. But still, he's not dating my mom he's dating me. Besides why bring around a person who hasn't put in the time yet in the relationship? I don't believe in introducing the "partner" to the parents (and my little sis in my case) till I know for sure we hitting the long haul. I'm not gonna bring someone temporary around something that's a permanent.

So the whole point? My boyfriend will never be my whole world. That's not who I am. They are however, a huge part of my world and that's how I think it should be. I am a whole person coming into a relationship with another whole person. We're going to make each other better but it's not going to be on some where I begin he ends type stuff.

It's bam this is Nicole, and this is **insert boyfriends Name** and they're a couple. lol.

Anyway that's my PSA. BUHBYE

IF YOU SHOP ON THANKSGIVING YOU ARE A SOUL SUCKING, MONEY GRUBBING, YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE FAMILY ASSHOLE

Overkill? Yes that was a tad overkill. I apologize. (Not really).

Honestly though why are you shopping on a holiday that was meant for family time?

Thanksgiving in America was a time when families came together to be thankful for the things (not materialistic things) they had.

Do you know there's families out there that are burying their loved ones while you shop on a day that they wished they could spend with them?

Do you know there are cops, firefighters, Docs, and military personal that won't make it home to crave their turkey (or whatever you eat lol) with their loved ones?

Do you know there is someone praying their loved one comes home safe and sound?

And yet here you are lucky enough to get the day off and you want to waste it in a store surrounded by crazy people. You also think it's okay to take other people away from their families just so you can get the latest gadget that will more then likely not work right in six months or break.

I would love to see all those stores that are open on Thanksgiving not have any employees show up. I'd support that boycott. I think the corporate savages would get the point.

We're going to loose these holidays one holiday at time and when they're all gone you're all going to cry about it. I'll just point and laugh at you all because you did it to yourselves.

Honestly are the materialistic things really worth it? You can't take any of that shit with you to the grave.

To the retail workers who are stuck working on Thanksgiving– I'm sorry for the idiots they allow in this world.

Time

Is the most dangerous thing I know. 

We live with this imagination and hope that there will always be a next time and a second chance. 

In reality it's the one thing we can never get back once it's gone. That moment when you're siping your morning coffee in solitude or wth a screaming kid attached to your hip; you may think that moment comes again and again, but it never really does. 

You may say to yourself tomorrow I'll start my "diet" and workout and be healthy. But what if tomorrow never comes? And even if it does what happens if tomorrow becomes too late? 

I just recently lost a dear friend of mine to cancer. This isn't the first time this has happened to me. The first time it was a childhood friend and while I never knew the man he grew up to be I did mourn the loss of the kid he use to be and it was a slap in the face about my own invincibility. 

This time around it was harder to watch this woman this amazing person succumb to this life altering disease. Cancer never just effects the person,  it always hits those around the individual suffering. 

It was heart wrenching to watch this person who was so full of life; someone who grabbed the bull by the horns so to speak and took life head on; to wither away to a shell of who she use to be. She was fearless and graceful and everything I can only hope to be. 

 I think that's the hardest part about cancer for the person on the outside, its watching someone you know become a stranger. (Now don't get me wrong that person is still in there but the disease has found a way to take them away from you one day at a time).

The worst part for me? Is the anger I feel. To see how,  so many people can be so careless and callous with life. (This comes on the heels of the terrorist attacks in Paris. My heart breaks for them. I know what they're feeling I went through it on 9/11) 

How can people justify taking a life? How can people justify being block n***gas never amounting to anything? Why are people okay with being lazy and doing nothing with their life? 

What happened to the dreamers and the believers and the kids who wanted to change the world? What happened to the people who knew life was precious and never wasted a second exploring it and getting lost in it? 

My biggest regret was not getting enough time with her crazy self. But I'm so grateful for the short time I did get to know her. She truly was an amazing spirit and I am glad her suffering is over. 

When are we as humans going to stop wasting time? 

People who hate "trend followers"

I haven't blogged in forever. Please forgive me! 

NanoWrimo has begun (National Writing Month, I am an author and I must write!)

Anywhoo moving on to the topic at hand.....

People Who Hate Trend followers:

Okay so here's we go: We as human beings and society go through these cycles of trends all the time. Some trends are brand new (not likely) and most get recycled (majority of the time, especially in fashion).

• We always have those people who jump on the bandwagon and get all stary-eyed about whatever the trend is.
• We always have those people who are too "independent" and "their own person" to dare acknowledge said trend. (why are there quotations marks around those words you ask? Simple: if you try too hard it's not genuine. Just a little #FF for the day)

And there are these people:

"OMG! Ugh! I can not believe people are following this trend. You guys be our own person."

This is what I hate!  Why are you giving other people shit for liking something? Who cares that it's a trend? Ever think, Um maybe they like it because well I don't know they just do?

I use to get a lot of shit for this when I was growing up. Soon as I see something that happened to be "popular" at the time and I liked it, it was always followed by: "OMG You're such a follower."

Um, no, no sweetie, I just like it. Like damn can a chick live?

This is just a PSA not everyone is a trend hopper (I like this phrase)! Sometimes a person can like Chipotle because the shit is good! Not because it's the place to eat. (This is just an example though Chipotle be poppin)